Often when I think of what happened to me in Nome, I feel sooo very betrayed. And I wonder why? 

I have my faith in the Lord. I don't want ownership to all the stuff that happened to me in Nome. But I cannot deny that what happened, was the worst pain that I have ever endured. 

Have I forgiven my wife? I am not sure, for the fact that I still get angry when I think of incidences from the past.

I cannot change the past. I cannot fix what problems that my wife and I have. So, I gotta focus on what the future has to promise. I need God's help. I go to my Father much like my children come to me when they want me to fix something for them. I go to my Father and ask Him to fix my situation for me. I humbly say "Here you go Father, I need your help, I got something broken. Can you fix it for me?".

But, I write today confused. I am not sure why or how the pain from the past still causes pain.